Tears and Applause: the 73rd Hunger Games
by TheWritingGirl23
Summary: "I couldn't say I felt much when my name was called, but I did know one thing. No matter what I would have to face, no matter what horrors I would endure, no one would ever see me break." *OC pov*


_Day 1 – Bound for Hell_

"Kestrel Ambercroft!"

The most I could tell you about the moment my name was shouted out into the town center is that I felt very little. I could hear a lot though, and I'm not sure how much of it was real. I could hear the roar of applause and cheers, but it sounded threatening, like a powerful storm over the ocean. And I could also hear the sound of weeping, nearly drowned out by the baying crowds, but still there and teasing at my soul. That might have been real, but I didn't think to check.

My steps are robotic all the way up to the stage as the Capitol woman claps and titters with excitement at finding District 4's first tribute.

A tribute; that's what I am now. I finger my hair. The only thought in my head is that I really should have tried harder to convince Mother to have let me cut it before the Reaping. I ask every year, but she always says no.

"There's no need to cut your beautiful hair sweetheart. There's nothing to worry about." She repeats that every year as she helps be brush my ridiculously bright red locks, smoothing them out almost obsessively. She really should know better, but I don't have the heart to tell her so. After all, what are the odds of another of our family being reaped for the dreaded Games?

Apparently, not that slim.

I stand and stare blankly as the Capitol woman, her pasty blue wig nodding like a bluebell in the breeze, withdraws a name from the second bubble and calls it out.

"Vic Temblin!"

Out in the crowd I see a familiar head shoot up. Oh Vic, what an irony it is that I'll be going into the arena with you. He's trying to be strong, you can see it, but I know him. He's terrified as he comes to join us on stage. I shudder suddenly. In my eyes, I can suddenly see Vic covered in blood, his features damaged beyond repair. I can see the same of myself, in my mind's eye.

"Congratulations, tributes of District 4," simpers that damnable woman and her nodding wig. She holds up her hands, as if a great victory has been won. I am now forced to look at the crowd.

God, I can barely look at my mother. In her eyes, she's seeing not only me up on stage, but Pearl as well. Father's eyes are locked on me, as if he's trying to memorize everything that I am in what little time is left. And then there's Tide, my little brother of only five. I feel so ashamed, knowing that he'll most likely have to grow up like I did, barely remembering an older sibling that loved you and hunted for sea shells on the shore with you. Now I know what Pearl must have been feeling five years ago, standing in this very spot as she was chosen for the same fate.

Vic and I are ushered inside the Justice Building. I'm led to a room all my own, waiting for the minutes I fear the most, even more than the horrors that lay before me in the notorious arena.

Too soon, yet not soon enough, the door practically crashes open. I'm seized up in arms of iron, even though they're shaking uncontrollably.

"No, no, no…my baby, my poor baby, not again!"

All I can do is hold my mother tightly as she sobs wildly. What can I say? That everything will be okay? That is something that I can't guarantee, and nothing else will be acceptable.

Larger, rougher hands find me and hold me as well. My father is silent, but his eyes are swimming with tears. He has nothing to say, but everything that I need to understand is in his embrace and his eyes. He feels helpless; even as the mayor of District 4, even as a strong man, not even as a father who would willingly sacrifice everything for his family, can he stop what is happening. Again.

We only have a few minutes, and there's one other member of my family I must say goodbye to. I kneel in front of Tide. His bright green eyes are confused.

"Where are you going Kes? When will you be back?"

I smile as best I can and take his hands in mine. "I'm going far away TD, and I don't know when I'll be back. But don't worry; you'll have mommy and daddy here with you."

He scrunches his nose up. "But they can't play tickle wars like you can, and they don't have time to find shells with me."

My time is almost up, and at the very least I can leave him with my best. Pearl did that for me, I can do the same for him. I give him the biggest hug I can manage, digging my fingers into his ribs until he begins giggling.

"You're going to have to hunt shells on your own for a while now TD, but if you're ever lonely, just think of me. I'm with you there, even if you can't see me," I whisper to him. I can't cry. He can't remember me like that. I lean down and whisper mischievously to him even as I hear the footsteps of the Peacekeepers approaching our room. Time's up.

"I love you TD. And I'll always get the biggest shell."

"No you won't!" he says indignantly just as the doors swing open and the men in white step in. My family is ushered away, my mother's wild blue eyes staying on me until they disappear at last.

This could very well be the last time I ever see them, but not the last time they'll see me. They'll be watching me till whatever end.

And right here, right now, as I'm being led away to board the train to the Capitol and beyond, I promise myself that I'll remember them. I'll remember that they'll be watching me. And for their sake, I will be unbreakable. No matter what happens, no matter what end I'm being marched to, I say come what may. If my days are numbered and death comes for me… I'll smile and say 'Give me your best shot bitch!"


End file.
